The Ethos of the Sacred Masculine Pt 8: Stand up for your wants, needs and desires…no one else will

You have needs, wants and desires. Don’t fool yourself otherwise. You must be honest with yourself about what you need and want for your life. The more you repress your own needs and wants, the more you do yourself and everyone around you a disservice because you can’t authentically show up the way you need to show up for anyone, when you can’t show up for anyone else.

You have sexual desires, but those are just the tip of what your needs and wants are.

You have the need to go out and get physical with your body in some form or manner.

You have the need to exercise your mind, your spirit, your emotions, and your body.

All of these needs are essential and when you put them to the side or repress them you set yourself up to be a nice guy. Give yourself something better than that: Be honest with yourself and others by advocating for you needs and wants.

And watch as your relationships change because you are standing up for yourself.

The Ethos of the Sacred Masculine pt 7: Seek your purpose and mission and make your life over in your own image

Do you know your purpose and mission for this life?

or are you wistfully looking out the window of your cubicle, wishing you were anywhere else than where you are right now?

Most men are in the latter situation. They have no idea what their mission and purpose is. They are toiling away at a job they don’t like, trying to compete with each other, and feeling frustrated, over worked, and out of touch with the most essential part of themselves.

What they are out of touch with is the part of themselves that is telling them about the mission they are here to accomplish, a mission that is profound and life changing. They’ve given up on listening to that voice because of the fear of how following that mission will stretch them.

Most men have made their wives and partners the most important part of their lives, yet the feel like something is missing.

What is missing is their sense of purpose: What they are here to do to make themselves and the world better. When they place someone else above themselves they let their purpose wilt away and with it their sense of pride and accomplishment.

The sacred masculine man is in touch with his mission and purpose. He knows who he is, why he is here and what he needs to accomplish. He is in alignment with the deepest parts of himself as well as the with the world around him and he is willing to do whatever it takes to create an amazing world as well as improve himself as a person and man.

The Ethos of the Sacred Masculine Pt 6: Be embodied in your sexuality with yourself and your lovers.

So many of us check out with our bodies and our sexuality.

We get caught up in trying to perform toward expectations around how sex ought to be.

We get caught up in trying to reach a specific outcome, without appreciating the experience leading up to that experience.

We get caught up in the value judgments we make about ourselves in relationship to our sexual performance and the fear we have about how others will evaluate us.

And in the midst of all that, we lose touch with our actual desires, wants and needs.

A man in touch with his sacred masculinity is in touch with his body, in touch with his sexual desires and is able to embody all of that and be present with himself and his partners without having to perform or measure up.

We embrace our bodies without feeling shame and accept our sexual desires without judging them. We honor ourselves and our partners and take joy in the intimate expression of sex.

The Ethos of the Sacred Masculine Part 1 - Love

I’ve been working on developing an Ethos that describes the vision and work of the Sacred Masculine. In this next series of posts I’m going to share with you what that Ethos is and why its significant to the work all men need to do to transform their lives.

The Ethos of the Sacred Masculine Quest - Part 1 Love

We have been taught to give away our love to other people and also been taught that the only love which has value is love that is given to us by other people.

A man in touch with his sacred masculine power knows better. He knows that love starts from within. He might experience someone else loving him, and he might love someone else, but until he learns how to love himself he will not be able to fully show up for anyone else.

Love yourself unapologetically, choose yourself unapologetically, Respect yourself unapologetically and the world will fall in love with you, choose you, respect you and open the doors of possibility and opportunity for you.

Love another person but balance that love with your love of yourself. You deserve the best from yourself and you cannot give your best to anyone else until you value yourself.

You are worthy of being loved by yourself. You are worthy of being valued by yourself. You are worthy of saying I have value and I choose to value myself.

I have loved others and given them my heart and my soul in a way that put those people on a pedestal and put myself in a place where I could be stepped on.

I am not doing that now though. I'm not doing that ever again...I know my worth and I choose to let go of the pedestal, the objectification, and also the diminution of all involved.

I love myself and I give myself my heart and soul and hold it in sacred keeping for the person or people who honor my heart and soul and recognize the precious gift I give of presence and passion, love and desire, devotion and honor.

They may share in the warmth of my heart and the light of my soul, the creative depth of my intelligence, the spiritual energy of my magic and the fierce life force of my body...and know what a gift it is to be in presence and power with me.

Even as I know in turn, they are also giving me the gift of presence with their heart, soul, intelligence, spiritual force and life fire.

Self love is the magic that continually transforms my life and the way I show up boldly and bravely for myself, my purpose, my missions, my passion and for the depth I bring to the world around me.

Love yourself my brothers and the world will open its heart to you and reveal its mysteries and secrets.