Inner Alchemy Coach

Hello, I’m Taylor Ellwood. I’m a cis-gender polyamorous pagan white man

And I’m a men’s coach and facilitator, who helps other men discover their sacred masculine power through ritual, somatic play, and internal work.

Being a man in today’s world is hard. Men are grappling with feelings of disempowerment, guilt and shame for being a man.

Men are trying to discover how to be a man in a healthy and empowered way for themselves, while also showing up for the people in their lives.

Men long to feel connected to the sacred masculine, but when they look for the rites and mysteries of masculinity they don’t find much that is available to meet this deep need within themselves.

I know the challenges that face men today, because I’ve faced them myself, in the process of discovering how to reclaim sacred masculinity on my terms.

I have gotten divorced twice. After my second marriage ended I relocated to another city to pursue a relationship that I wasn’t ready for and when that didn’t work out, I found myself alone, depressed and adrift, wondering what the point of it all is and questioning why I continued to mess up my life.

It didn’t help that I was working at a dead end job I didn’t like, doordashing in the evenings, watching netflix all the time and keeping myself small when it came to pursuing my passions. I was living a miserable, unfulfilled life with hardly any friends, feeling overworked and stressed out and regretting every decision I had ever made.

Then I had a moment of clarity and realized that I could continue pitying myself, wishing I had made different choices, and continuing to live an unfulfilling life while getting into yet another relationship before I was ready,

OR

I could stop making the same mistakes of bouncing from one romantic partner to the next and one unfulfilling job to the next job and stop settling for being small, with my life and with my identity.

I just needed to figure out why I kept making those same mistakes…

And then I had the second realization. The reason I was continually failing at my life is because I wasn’t the man I truly needed to be, for myself, or anyone else. I wasn’t in touch with my sacred masculinity and I didn’t know how to embody it within my life.

I thought being a man meant being stoic and withdrawn. I thought it meant having to pretend I had my act together, while pushing my emotions down where no one could see them. I thought I had to be in control, but I didn’t feel like I had any control of my life or myself.

I loathed myself, and I kept myself distracted from my inner unhappiness with Netflix, social media, video games, alcohol and porn. On top of that I was stuck in my own head, endlessly chewing on my problems and grievances but not doing anything about the issues I was having. I was spinning in a circle and I needed to stop.

These two realizations changed my life and helped me embark on a journey to discover what it meant to be a man. That journey allowed me to heal sexual and familial trauma from the past, while redefining my identity as a man.

I started making friends with other men who understood the challenges I faced because they had been where I had been. I began doing activities I genuinely enjoyed, started writing more again, and started this coaching practice so that I could help other men, men like you, who are also living unfulfilling lives, having unfulfilling relationships and keeping themselves small by being the nice guy…

Instead of being a liberated, aware and empowered man who can show up for himself and others from a place of openness and awareness. If you want to become that kind of man, I invite you to discover...