One of the challenges that men face is around rites of passage, and specifically around the lack of rites of passage that are available to them. We live in a society where meaningful rites of passage have fallen away and what has been left are empty gestures and unhealthy behaviors that don’t really convey a sense of earned masculinity to the people involved.
Getting the license to drive or being able to vote can be important, but there’s not a sense of depth conveyed with either experience. Being allowed to officially smoke cigarettes or drink alcohol is a joke given how many people start smoking or drinking before they are legally allowed to do so, nor does indulging in either vice convey a sense of adulthood or healthy choices.
In my own experience I didn’t have a meaningful rite of passage in my life that opened me to the men’s mysteries until much later in life. Even so, having such a rite of passage still brought me to a place of growth and transformation that was meaningful for my life and at the same time helped me understand how much there was and is a part of me that craves and wants meaningful rites of passage in my life. It is not enough to go through life and achieve specific outcomes and results, if we have nothing that marks those outcomes and results or marks the evolution of our being.
A rite of passage is a mark of transformation. When you undergo a rite of passage, you are experiencing an initiation where you move from your old identity to a new one. That evolution of identity is marked by specific processes you undergo in the initiation and it challenges you to face something within yourself that needs a change. It’s a change from you are, to who you can become and what that change brings with it is a change in consciousness.
Recently, at the Kung Fu studio I practice martial arts at, I took my test for my yellow belt. This test was also a rite of passage. I had to demonstrate to my Sifu that I knew the required knowledge but I also had to show him that I had learned something else, which was a level of responsibility and awareness that could tell him that I was ready for the yellow belt. At the end of the test I had my rite of passage and I felt different as a result. I had graduated from one belt to another, but I had also transformed who I was into someone new. It was a profound and moving moment that helped me appreciate how much I had changed since I had started practicing Kung Fu with my Sifu.
Each time I’ve gone through a rite of passage I have recognized that it is an initiation into mystery. The mystery isn’t always focused on the masculine, but it is always focused on developing awareness, which in turn leads a person to growing up. And that’s something that men need more than ever.
A rite of passage offers a man an opportunity to come into closer relationship with all aspects of himself, heal his inner wounds and transform his life. When a man has a rite of passage in his life he has a path to walk that brings him to meaning and purpose.
If you’re looking for that meaning and purpose, I invite you to check out my upcoming class Sacred Masculine Purpose, where we’ll be exploring among other topics, how to use rites of passage to help you discover your meaning and purpose.
